MYSPACE REVIEW – HOARSEBOX

Right, for the final review of the night I’ve made a last minute line-up changed. Originally I was going to do R.S.A.G. but after watching the Shinning, I’m just not in the mood. Instead, I’ve flicked over the internet and found Hoarsebox, one of the contenders for the Raw Sessions. I haven’t seen the show (since I don’t have channels) but have heard people going on and it sounds pretty good. So, for the last MySpace Review of the night, let’s get down to business.

I’ve never heard of the band in my life or seen them life.

Well, seems we aint going out with a bang. While writing the intro I was forced into hearing first track All I Need Now twice and holy god (up yours Dermot Ahern), they’re a pile of shite. This really annoying poppy/indie sound that much, much worse than anything else I’ve heard today….except maybe Bocs Social. Second track Rosey is better but still absolute nonsense. To put it nicely, this might have been a great song in Michael Jackson’s people had gotten hold of it in the seventies and released it as a New York only 7″. Maybe then it would have been half decent. As it stands, Hoarse Box are quite low on Tickets There’s favourites for the weekend. Joint last in fact.  

Do It To The Letter comes third and improves things a little. I don’t like the guy’s voice and honestly, we get the point during the chorus which seems to kick in immediately. Apparently, he’s going to do it to the letter. The sound is choppy, undistorted guitars, a half decent bass effort and some pretty fine drumming. Agh, I’m too tired to be creatively negative and there isnt many good points to hype. Songs are just lacking entertainment. Lets see what’s next. I’m obviously bursting to see what fourth track, Tales of the Workplace has in store for us. At first, it sounds like a guy with his nuts kicked in trying to impersonate The Scissor Sisters. Perhaps Hoarsebox are appealing to the growing population of metrosexuals in Dublin. Camp with none of the fun, laughable with none of the comedy and terribly overdone. Next! Here we go, No Pants Island brings us to the penultimate song of the night and fuck me its terrible. At least the other numbers had some form of construction in the song writing. Why do I waste my time with these ones? I think I’ll have to start bringing in a screening process to filter these piles of shot out. In order to hurry things up, I just did something I avoid like the plague in these reviews. I skipped song. Sorry all. Last, and once again Tickets There favourite for that fact, is Pain Got Too Much. Ah, couldn’t even be bothered, it;s late and I dont feel this crowd deserves the ink or brain power….what? off course I’ll manage it someday, fuck off.

Not a good band. I couldn’t even be bothered by offering a polite “good at what they do excuse”. They’re just crap. Noisy Crap! Then again, what more can you expect from a band who claim one of their influences ‘as the taste of really really good, expensive food…’ Way to not sound like pretentious little shots lads.