MYSPACE REVIEW – THE HASSLE MERCHANTS

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time again. Welcome to another Tickets There MySpace Review. The Blog that searches through Irish bands, picks one and random and lets you know if their worth checking out or just another over hyped, under talented pile of wasters. Today’s choice is Dublin locals, The Hassle Merchants. They describe themselves as Energetic alternative puck and apparently won Connected Magazine’s Band of the Year award in 2007. So, with the bullshit PR out of the way, lets get down to brace taxes.

As almost usual with these reviews, I haven’t seen them live (that I know off, don’t remember them anyway) and haven’t heard their album (if they have one).

OK, first song on their MySpace is Friendly Neighbourhood Scumbag. I won’t lie, I like this song title. I also like the intro. Nice acoustic downer in little bursts with a good bass’ed up kick drum, pounding away slowly. Oh, things go a little way wire about a minute into the song and things start to sound a little scattered. The verse is pretty good but the bridge is a little too familiar for my tastes and the chorus starts well but then goes into a nah, nah, nah kind of bollocks and won’t just let loose. An amateur lead guitar and bad production really shit on things more and more towards the end. Little boring and not what I was hoping for. Still a good title though.

Boy Go Home’s up next. Very empty sounding but that’s just the affects. Vocals sound a bit better, kind of a Drop Kick Murphy’s number but not as good. Ah, there’s the bridge again, boring. Chorus sounds like a thousand other bad punk songs so that kind of gives the game away. I can see what they’re trying to do but it aint working.

The worst thing about modern punk bands is that they still try and recreate that anger, angst, rebellion and anarchist spirit kids in the mid seventies harnessed and made work, without trying to develop it. How can a music that’s over thirty years old revolutionize anything? You didn’t see the Sid Vicious sweating about reproducing Frank Sinatra did ya? Sun of A Nun is next. Again, not a bad intro. Even when things kick in it’s not too bad. Very simple and nothing worth shouting about but definitely a marked improvement after the other two songs. They actually manage to make the whole thing sound planned out on this one. The title is probably meant to be their ‘Shocking Number’ but Tickets There see’s no such infamy. Even the guitar solo manages to sound a little more polished and rehearsed this time. Yep, Tickets There is finally enjoying the Hassle Merchants. Let’s hope it carries on because I have another five reviews to write today and I don’t want to lose my caffeine buzz.  

Echoes in Empty Hall’s is next and another good intro, best yet actually. Agh God, until that fucking stupid low toned riff comes in. Bands, stop using that, it’s fucking sickening. (Anyways, In the mean time) things are going pretty well. The Libertines keep popping into my mind for some reason, even though this crowd don’t really sound much like them, I’m just getting this kind of FAKE buzz from their sound. Like their good songs are only good by accident. You can hear the Clash pouring through on this track and that only makes things worse because now I want to listen to them instead. Agh, I’m a little bored.  

Get Your Finger Out brings us to our second last track and it’s pretty bad. The main Riff is so used before, I’m pretty sure they collected the insurance payout. They’ve gone from having two relatively well constructed songs to the standards of the first two and made it a little more childish. It’s short but still manages to drag on longer than Lord of the Rings. Waiter, next song please. The final track is called Acoustic Dublin’s Screaming Murder Live (I’m sure the words Acoustic and Live were added due to this being an acoustic song preformed live. Ya see, Math and Physics mixed with logic does get you places). Now this is alright. Pretty much about people in Dublin getting shot and not much happening about it. I’m not 100% sure, but their blaming it on some pretentious cunts. Not sure if they’re talking about the Whelan’s or Odessa Club crowd on a Saturday night but I hope so. All shit aside, it’s not a bad song. Worth checking out if you’re bored and one of the three half decent tracks here.

Overall…not too bad. As you probably noticed my enthusiasm is waning a little but they definitely aren’t the worst lot out there but also haven’t matured enough yet to deserve the worlds attention. Maybe in a couple of years.

MYSPAE REVIEW – DIRTY EPICS

Hoh, have you ever seen so many posts on this page? I hope not because I’m aiming for a record today. Next up on the special review countdown is the Dirty Epics. Yet another Dublin act (sorry). So far things have been positive enough today. The Hassle Merchants weren’t too bad and then The Delorentos came along and pushed everything up a notch. So now the job falls on the Dirty Epics to keep the pace going.

As usual, I haven’t heard their Album or seen them live (mixing things up by swapping around the usual speal). So, without further ado, hey here we go!  

We’re Coming Up is first and starts with a good beating intro. Vocals sound a little strange, kind of sharp, but they grow on you. The songs not bad, it’s your typical lead single from a new band trying to impress the kids. Ah, let’s see what’s next before jumping into criticisms. Second song Pony brings the punk influence in a little bit more but again it’s that kind of cheap punk that bands insist on wearing down. “Eat all Your Meals, you got to be well fed. You’ll need your energy when you get me to bed” spell’s out the hidden meaning of this song. Gonna pay closer attention to see if she’s singing this to a Pony or if this is a metaphor situation. Like maybe the guy looks like Chopper Read but he’s shorter and they say he’s as strong as a Pony or something. I don’t know, I’m waffling. The songs ok but I’d go for Humanzi first. Also. I’m not sure that American pop punk is the most credible sound for an Irish act singing about relationships. Maybe if they added a badharn player.

Just as I though I’d never heard this lot before, third track The Cure sounds overly familiar. Did I do a review of them before by any chance? Nope, just checked. Right, this is a real radio friendly number. Defiantly designed for mass appeal as the ‘dirty’ lyrics and gritty guitars are cut out. Always thought that was a pretty silly thing to do for any rock act looking for some credibility. Like those people who get tattoo’s everywhere except for visible surfaces so they can wear a suit to work and not be bothered. Shouldn’t judge though, I make my hair all pretty when I go to gig’s. Sometimes I even comb it.

Way Too Pretty brings the session to an end and it’s kind of like a Happy Mondays number (doesn’t sound like that at all – Ed.). Good bass like that really pushes the song along. Singer’s voice has returned to that more dominant role from the first two tracks. Agh, too fucking bland for my tastes. Fuck being polite, this sounds exactly like everything else that’s around at the moment, just happens to be a little rawer. It may be fast and colourful but it doesn’t have the substance to turn the majority if bystanders into fans.

Overrated is the final pick of the bunch (sorry, didn’t realize this was there). Probably my favourite of the pile and fits in pretty well after Way Too Pretty. Good hard vocals and guitars. Just not fucking loud enough (*clicks on volume). Ah, there we go.

Not worth checking out unless you’re a Fight Like Apes fan, then I would fully endorse you supporting the Dirty Epics instead.

MYSPACE REVIEW – BOCS SOCIAL

OK, we’re at number four of the five reviews in one day countdown. Now, this next bunch of lads are from Wicklow which breaks today’s trend of Dublin acts which is nice. Hopefully you haven’t felt too inundated today with all the non stop blogging and have the patience to stick it out for another few. Who knows, I may keep doing them until I collapse with exhaustion at eight o’clock tomorrow morning. Before I use up all my intros for the day, let’s get to business and check out Bocs Social.

I’ve never seen the band live or heard their Album (if they have one)

Starting things off is the very badly named, Toasted Luv Sandwich. I’m sorry to say, this would not be top of the list of today’s tracks. Vocals are a little weak and the overall, the track doesn’t pack much of a punch. It’s quite hard to imagine anyone running about taking about how great this is but it could just be the production. Took a wee break there to see if there was anything deeper I was missing but it’s just too wishy/washy for Tickets There’s taste. Bland indie in on the way out so lets not start endorsing it now. Second track, Whoa has a much liver starts and comes across like a Madness number….and this continues as the song progresses. I should point out that Tickets There is not a reggae or Ska fan. I don’t there’s a genre I can’t stand more and this was even highlighted to Sinead O’Connor. In my defence I was set up. I was sitting with my back to her in one of my locals in Dun Laoghaire and one of the lads who knows my hatred of all things Reggae brought the subject up and watched with great amusement while I rated on and on about how crap I think reggae music is, (For those who don’t get the Sinead O’Connor element of the story, she had just released an all reggae album). Anyways, annoying song, thank god the next has started.  

24 Hours (oops, skipped one, will back track afterwards) drops the ska style and goes for a kind of Beta Band feel. My favourite of the bunch so far and it’s nice to hear one of those sixties style organs in the background. Vocals are also alot better with some good harmonies in the chorus. Always nice when a band manages to surprise me half way through a review. Right, back tracking to You Said It All (which isn’t working at the moment.…give me a sec….ok, waited long enough, will try again at the end. Fucking internet!). Aggressive Broccoli (god lads, what’s with the names eh? (Oh, and you’re one to talk TICKETS THERE? – Ed.). Again with the fecking Ska guitars. Don’t want to be too negative today and also, I think I’ve typed the words reggae and ska enough in this review so I will say that the chorus isn’t too bad. There’s a nice drive …until the verse comes back. Not too bad for a ska track but not my thing, not my thing at all. Maybe they’ll say the same about my review.

Unfortunately You Said It All doesn’t want to work for me today which is a little annoying because I was hoping it would..Oh, and it’s just kicked in. Right, no sign’s of Madness or Sinead O’Connor. We’re safe, let’s move in for a listen. You Said It All turns out to be a quieter number. Nice enough guitar picking, little summary. Not a fan of the singing, it sounds a little soulless and light and there’s too much of it. Slow moving and the fact that it’s the last one of the review doesn’t stand in it’s favour.

Would I recommend them? No, honestly there isn’t much substance here. What’s that you said, you’ve read that several times before in my reviews? Well, it’s true. Why have the Lidl brand when you can get M&S for the same price.

MYSPACE REVIEW – HOARSEBOX

Right, for the final review of the night I’ve made a last minute line-up changed. Originally I was going to do R.S.A.G. but after watching the Shinning, I’m just not in the mood. Instead, I’ve flicked over the internet and found Hoarsebox, one of the contenders for the Raw Sessions. I haven’t seen the show (since I don’t have channels) but have heard people going on and it sounds pretty good. So, for the last MySpace Review of the night, let’s get down to business.

I’ve never heard of the band in my life or seen them life.

Well, seems we aint going out with a bang. While writing the intro I was forced into hearing first track All I Need Now twice and holy god (up yours Dermot Ahern), they’re a pile of shite. This really annoying poppy/indie sound that much, much worse than anything else I’ve heard today….except maybe Bocs Social. Second track Rosey is better but still absolute nonsense. To put it nicely, this might have been a great song in Michael Jackson’s people had gotten hold of it in the seventies and released it as a New York only 7″. Maybe then it would have been half decent. As it stands, Hoarse Box are quite low on Tickets There’s favourites for the weekend. Joint last in fact.  

Do It To The Letter comes third and improves things a little. I don’t like the guy’s voice and honestly, we get the point during the chorus which seems to kick in immediately. Apparently, he’s going to do it to the letter. The sound is choppy, undistorted guitars, a half decent bass effort and some pretty fine drumming. Agh, I’m too tired to be creatively negative and there isnt many good points to hype. Songs are just lacking entertainment. Lets see what’s next. I’m obviously bursting to see what fourth track, Tales of the Workplace has in store for us. At first, it sounds like a guy with his nuts kicked in trying to impersonate The Scissor Sisters. Perhaps Hoarsebox are appealing to the growing population of metrosexuals in Dublin. Camp with none of the fun, laughable with none of the comedy and terribly overdone. Next! Here we go, No Pants Island brings us to the penultimate song of the night and fuck me its terrible. At least the other numbers had some form of construction in the song writing. Why do I waste my time with these ones? I think I’ll have to start bringing in a screening process to filter these piles of shot out. In order to hurry things up, I just did something I avoid like the plague in these reviews. I skipped song. Sorry all. Last, and once again Tickets There favourite for that fact, is Pain Got Too Much. Ah, couldn’t even be bothered, it;s late and I dont feel this crowd deserves the ink or brain power….what? off course I’ll manage it someday, fuck off.

Not a good band. I couldn’t even be bothered by offering a polite “good at what they do excuse”. They’re just crap. Noisy Crap! Then again, what more can you expect from a band who claim one of their influences ‘as the taste of really really good, expensive food…’ Way to not sound like pretentious little shots lads.

MYSPACE REVIEW – STILLROOM

Well it’s Monday. The worst day of the week and a time when music heads need a good, hard fucking dose if Rock N Roll!. I don’t know about you guys how there, but sub-par indie just inst enough this early in the day and hopefully Dublin act, Stillroom, can knock the depression of these reviews. As the Ramones would say, Hey Ho, LETS GO!

As usual, I haven’t seen the band live or heard their album.

Well, well, well. A decent rock band from Ireland, isn’t that nice. The whole sleaze scene is currently buzzing with a handful of hopefuls from the UK who are proving that Rock certainly isn’t dead and Stillroom are definitely a candidate for Irish competition/ First song Alright, oozes with AC/DC influence, something that can only stand to the band due to the Auzzie lads revival in popular culture. It opens with a Let there be Rock style riff. Pounding drum and shreds clanging together in the back ground while the pace picks up before bursting into hard guitar riffs and hooks, the likes Damien Rice will never see. Nothing hugely powerful but pretty strong, will more than likely improve with some stage time. Musically the song is everything a Les Paul can promise ad the only let down are the Bryan McFadden style vocals. Imagine one of the Your A Star males singing AC/DC and you’ve got it. Maybe he’ll work out after a few more Bourbons under his belt. The chorus is catchy and the shredding guitar solo is fantastic. Then things start to slow down before blowing back up with a foot stomping chorus. Really good hard pop rock. (it’s not quite hard rock and it definitely aint pop rock).

Second and final track, Addicted to Sin has more of a Guns N Roses/Aerosmith feel…without the blues. The verse starts off a little quiet before the band all rumble in with pedals on full. Another catchy chorus (and a pretty good title to boot). The bass also stands out more in this song and another ripping solo from the guitar seals the deal. Those vocals though, having a little problem with how clean they are. He’s good on the chorus’s but just sounds too fresh or something and you defiantly can believe a guy with a fresh voice is addicted to anything, especially Sin.

Overall I have to say that it’s a shame they only have two songs up. It’s great to know there’s a decent rock band playing a shit load of shows around the city. Stay tuned for a live review in the coming weeks.

MYSPACE REVIEW – THE ANSWER

I’ve got the horn Ryan. After a successful find in Stillroom I decided to finally go and listen to a band many, many people are talking about. The Answer are being hailed as Irelands best Rock export since Thin Lizzy and Tickets There has been surprisingly lax in it’s efforts to find out more. I just haven’t been in the mood until now. More than likely I overdid things back in the Chinese Democracy days. Anyways, let’s move on.

I’ve never seen the band or heard their album.

Fucking Great. First song On and On is a superb example of how rock bands should sound. Real great mix of blues laden guitars, harmony driven vocals and first-class crashing drums. Lets see what second song, Demon Eye’s has in store. Intro’s a little slower than the first track…until about thirty seconds in and the band comes back (didn’t I just say something similar in the last review?). Good rumbling guitars and brilliant bursting bridge before a full on, over the top- riff fuelled chorus tears the song in half. Title’s a bit silly but pretty savage. The drum beat during the verse stands out much better here than the last song and the bass belts a fantastic line over everything. Another standing ovation guitar solo filled with bends, slides and all sorts of treats brings us to the first tame moment before the chorus comes ripping back in. The singer Cormac Neeson really pulls everything together and the gaps in Stillroom’s sound seem a little larger.

Never Too Late opens with an excellent lead intro before the band kicks into a 70’s style psychedelic prelude. The Answer are actually living up to every inch of the hype associated with them and I’m suddenly very glad I didn’t see them supporting AC/DC or they mightn’t have had the same punch. Just as you settle into the seventies buzz, another spiralling solo tears the whole things to pieces as the band display their talents at writing perfect little rock tracks. Defiantly a must for any Chris Cornell fans out there. Walkin; Mat brings us past the half way mark (god, normally the good bands only have one or two track up and shit ones cant fit enough on their page). For some reason, Walkin’ Mat keeps cutting off on me. This stupid, poxy Irish Broadband piece of shit. Have tried restarting three times but just can’t get it going so let’s hop along to the best named track on their playlist, Highwater or Hell. Good, same tone as the other songs with a much rockier chorus and good heavy guitars. There isn’t much more I can say about this sound, it’s just great. While Tickets There prefers abit more aggression and profanity in its tunes, there’s no flawing this kind of rock n roll craftsmanship. A slowed down bridge supported by a pounding drum leads the way for a brief solo before….the fucking internet kicks out again. Fucking pile of shit.

The final song on the playlist is Memphis Water and it’s a live recording from Japan. Again, the band returns to the 70’s style of Never Too Late but it’s got more a blues feel this time. Surprisingly authentic for a northern Irish band writing a song like this is the new millennium. I was pretty sure it had been done but The Answer do it well, not to mention the fact that the Japanese seem to be enjoying themselves. There’s yet another savage guitar solo just a minute in which send the recorded audience into a frenzy.

Well, one of the best I’ve found since starting the reviews. My only criticism would be the lack of a seal the deal style song here. They haven’t got a Welcome to the Jungle, Sweet Child O’Mine or a Paradise City so the albums probably no Appetite. Saying this, it’s important to remember they have everything else. Hopefully things will only improve and The Answer will become the stadium rock

MYSPACE REVIEW – JADED SUN

Well, you may have noticed extensive reconstructions on the Tickets There MySpace this weekend. After toying with the notion of moving everything to WordPress, I’ve decided not to bother so I’m staying here instead. Plans are in the making to launch an actual ticketsthere.com website in the coming months but for now we’re staying put. Now, enough shameless self promotions (TURN competition agh, cough), you came here to read about Jaded Sun.

Dublin five piece Jaded Sun seem to be getting a good few mentions in the press these days. When I first heard their name I thought it might be just another indie band but apparently I was wrong. I’d been avoiding listening to them based on this but after I heard they were full on rock n roll, I decided a MySpace review was in order. So, without further filler, let’s get started. As usual, I’ve never seen the band live or heard their album/E.P.

First track Breaking Through starts like a Led Zeppelin set opener. Wow, what ever about the music being spot on, what’s most surprising is this band have a pretty savage singer. Very rare for an Irish rock band to have one these days. This track could have been ripped straight from Aerosmith’s debut with blues laden guitars, smashing drums and a steady building riff. A blues fuelled guitar solo half way through confirms this band definitely have something to offer. A pretty deadly song. What’s next?

Next song Higher has more of an early eighties rock feeling. Solid muted guitars with melodic bursts and soaring vocal harmonies that could stand out well in any arena. God, Irish bands are really starting to play rock well again. Fuck Fight Like Apes, this is the next generation. Third track Can’t Stop reverts back to the Zeppeling bluesy style during the verse, a foot stomping Aerosmith styled chorus and a another blues driven solo drive the song home. The vocals remain like a mix of early Steve Tyler and Chris Cornell (yes I know more bands but I’m not trying to be obscure, just blunt) but they don’t diversify much from the standard style. Still, this doesn’t affect things much. Fourth song Hey You has a good AC/DC kind of riff. Slow beats and alot of little lead moments fill the verse before a Rolling Stones-esque chorus give the song it’s full character. Just having a look through the gig calendar and I have to say I’m a little pissed I haven’t checked this band out before when they might have actually been playing in Dublin. The verse continues to kick on before the second chorus speeds the tempo up before a melodic bridge leaves the gates open for a piercing harmonica piece that goes on to jam with the lead guitar. Very, very, very impressed.

Unfortunately there’s only six songs and we’re at number five. Crave changes the pace completely. It starts like a sappy acoustic song with mediocre, wanna be meaningful lyrics. I’m afraid Tickets There just can’t trust a song that sounds like Nickleback wrote it. Next tune! Do It Again bursts in with all guitars rolling and the band return to what they do best, full frontal, clean sounding rock n roll. I always secretly miss the danger sound that acts like Guns N Roses bring to this sound but there ain’t nothing wrong with what Jaded Sun are doing and I think I’ll have another run through the tracks before jumping to the next review. Defiantly a band worth checking it out if you’re a fan of 70’s rock.

MYSPACE REVIEW – THE RAPPORT

Moving slowly along from the excellent Jaded Sun, I’ve had a look at my online friends and found what sounds like a great act from Louth. I’ve never even heard of The Rapport but a few seconds into their first track, I was sold.

As usual, I’ve never heard their album or seen them live.

First song Solid Gold starts like an early nineties grunge bruiser. Heavy gruelling guitars banging a slow beating riff out while gritty vocals belt out fast straight to the point lyrics. A strangely placed bridge interferes for a few seconds before a bursting sing along anthem style chorus trips in and leads to a short but energetic guitar solo to close things of. Another emptyish moment slows things down again and the song is filled out with another roar of the chorus. Not a bad little track by any means. Second song, A Certain Superficial European Humanbein changes things a little and sounds more like a hardcore moment. The song is lyrically blunt and it has more of those awkward quiet moments that are obviously placed for tension building. There are some funky bass fillers but nothing too special. The build towards the end and proceeding chorus does a good job of rejuvenating a song lacking in structure.

Third song, What Happened to the Independent Women has a little more melody than the others. I can only assume that’s one of those dodgy Zoom pedals accompanying the guitars and I’m sure a good prouder could do wonders for this number. The singer doesn’t really build the verse properly and before you know it the chorus jumps in without giving any time to get comfortable. There’s a little more sleaze in this one but the instruments just aren’t standing out enough this time and the song falls over it’s self a little. It does manage to deliver the best solo of the three tracks and the chorus feels a little more constructed as the song finishes.  

Stars May Fall brings things to an end and this time the band have dropped the gritty guitars for a cleaner intro. It’s a little slow and the first verse seems to drag on for sometime before things start to pick up. The vocals in the bridge sound a little out of tune and another Audioslave sounding chorus makes the bands sound a little less impacting. Overall, it’s probably the best structured song they have and the guitar-less moments are phased out and several complementing riffs are tossed in throughout the track.

Not the worst and much better than my criticisms make them sound. Tickets There would recommend The Rapport as a ‘one to watch’ and we’ll be looking for a live show to see how they sound in real life.

MYSPACE REVIEW – BURNING SHADES

After a day spent watching Def Leppard Video’s, series 2 of Yes Minister and writing, I think one more review is in order before I switch the computer off ad relax for a few hours. Today we’ve had Jaded Sun from Dublin, who turned out to be one of the best bands I’ve found since starting these reviews. We’ve also heard The Rapport from Louth who have the potential to be a great grungy rock band if they keep at it and now it’s time to visit Sligo and see what Burning Shades are like. These guys have been picked because they’re online and that’s good enough for Tickets There (remember, low standards).

As usual, I haven’t seen the band live or heard their EP.

First track under the knife is Last Star and there seems to be a problem, it won’t play. OK, moving along to second track, The Soft Hours. Again, it’s not working. Time to refresh and see’s what happens.

This time I’ve had more luck as second last song, Light of the Shadows works…ah shit, its crap. Well I guess this ends my hopes for a trilogy of great bands. Just sounds like a cheap, badly produced, second hand Pumpkin/Alice in Chains number. The vocals are piss poor and the music is so dull it’s hard to believe the band could have any enthusiasm writing or playing something like this. Last but not least in the list of awful things about this song, the lyrics are terrible and the it’s four and a half minutes in length. Awful, Awful, Awful. Next song!. Nightangle is worse than the first one and the band seem to delve further into this Nirvana styled acoustic sound. Out of tune harmonies and a complete and total lack of musical ability or originality. Next fucking song, please because lads,’ I don’t feel like crying’ either.  

Splinter Vision’s intro is a little livelier than the other two. The singers voice is so ripped off and weak there’s seems little point than going further in…but this is Tickets There and we always soldier on. The Chorus is another attempt at deep, meaningful waste of space nonsense that is the defining characteristic of any shit band like this. Lyrically, the song is impotent and it’s filled with pending applications to the international database of cliché’s (much like your reviews Tickets There – Ed). Finally it ends and we can proceed with this massacre of the senses.  

Murder on the High Sea’s suggests that this next track will be a jolly old sea chantey. Instead, it’s yet another slow moving, boring as fuck acoustic number. The vocals are impossibly boring and the music is more depressing than Joy Division, with none of the talent. One credit I will give the band is this. If these guys can be a band who records material, there is hope for everyone out there. Want an extract? Burning Shades are the kind of band that make bad musicians feel better about themselves.

While they may not be the worst of the worst musically, their songs are so riddled with overly mediocre, beats, lifeless lyrics and guitars that have the character of a sock. I’m hoping next song, Anira Ramana is bringing things to an end so I can publish this piece of shit review. What can I say about this one eh? Surprise, surprise it’s awful? I think you might have seeing that coming. I am pretty much reserved to the fact that there won’t be any opinion changing tracks out of the seven they have. Once again I’m annoyed that the worst bands always seem to have an abundance of material while the really savage ones generally have fuck all. Skipping straight along to Sailors Map, Tickets There feels this has to be the end. I don’t care if there’s another song left, I cant hold out I’m afraid. Again it’s crap, review done.

Tickets There advices all readers (that means you, guy who reads these reviews) to have a listen and see what you think. Not sure if I made myself clear but the official TT opinion is this music isn’t fantastic….to say the motherfucking least but if you’re ever thinking of heading to Sligo, this music perfectly captures the ambience in that town.

MYSPACE REVIEW – SO COW

Recently Tickets There has had an astonishing run of luck with its MySpace review but sadly it had to come to an end. With a devastatingly bad find in Burning Shades, it seemed things couldn’t get any worse…that was until I found So Cow. Now I normally don’t listen to bands before starting the review but I read that this one of Irelands hottest underground acts so I thought I better check it out and holy sweet Je*us was I disappointed, but lets save it for the review.  

So Cow are from Tuam (pity, I’m from the West and I was kind of hoping Burning Shades were as bad as it gets). Couldn’t care less about details. I haven’t seen the band live or heard their album/E.P. (thank fuck).

The bands first track, like their third and fourth, seems to have some sort of Chinese influence in the title. The vocals are unintelligible because of irresponsibly bad production and in-between the constant bursts on the snare drum, there’s some dreadfully boring riffs and up tempo beats. Sounds like a demented American beach party from a band from Elvis’s worst film. Next!  Casablanca proves this band aren’t a one shit wonder. Casablanca manages to bring back the annoying drum roll snares, terrible vocals but this time the other instruments, in particular the guitars, seem to be totally out of tune. The overall energy of the song is lacking in the Duracell area.

Third Song (Check title yourself, my computer doesn’t display what I assume or Chinese characters and I couldn’t be bothered fiddling with the settings). Pretty much the same crap only shorter. Intro of the fourth song (again with the characters) is stronger than most but the band seem to lose pace. Lyrics are once again sung in Chinese. Not sure if this is just for the pure fucking obscurity factor or if there’s a Chinese member in the band. Terrible song at the end of the day so who cares? Just because the lyrics are in Chinese doesn’t make this kind of nonsense in any way credible or unique.

As I begrudgingly move onto the next tune (The Youre Nice Mysteries) I feel I’ve got a grip on this band. They’re a bunch of total geeks. Probably a bunch of total retarded nerds who have managed to climb so far up their own arses that they’ve reached the point where any band you’ve actually heard off is too commercial, all the while playing a selection of the worst music I’ve heard (oh god the solo at the end of that song is ear piercingly bad and once again out of tune only to be followed by a ram shackle drum solo) an Irish band produce. Think of the Beatles and Weezer blended together with absolutely none of the talent.

Second last song (for this review, there’s another three on their MySpace but…you know), Swords, is just plain boring. All the same traits as the others but not as many annoying bits. The Angry Silence is just another bad song. So bad I’m am beyond uninspired and very, very sleepy.

Tickets There’s opinion. One of the worst…possibly the worst I’ve ever heard. I would be very interested in hearing what exactly people are praising about this band because they just sound like they’re purposely trying to write, record and produce terrible songs and if that’s the quality people like then god help the future of Irish music. Its bad enough acts like Grand Pocket Orchestra and Fight Like Apes (not to mention all those other tossers) are indorsed without a shitty, useless, no-talent bunch of hacks like So Cow getting anywhere.

Please Irish people. Just stop and cop yourselves on a little. Have a look at the good bands in this country and drop this ego tripping, cooler than the O.C. image and attitude you’ve built up around yourselves over the last few years. It’s not fucking cool to wear sun glasses in a night club, it’s not sexy to wear so much fake tan you turn orange, it’s not funny to be so stupid you can’t remember your middle name and it’s not hip, underground, elitist or trendy to like a bunch of twits like this.

Spot any mistakes? Please phone 1800-KISS-MY-ASS (it’s 1:36 in the morning)

MYSPACE REVIEW – THE BLIZZARDS

AC/DC fans, you’re in for abit of a shock as the legendary Thin Lizzy have pulled out of tomorrows show (Old news – Ed.) only to be replaced by, what I can only assume is, Ireland’s leading hard rock act, The Blizzards. A band so sleazy, they make Guns N Roses look like Steps, a band so drunk their antics forced Lemmy into AA and a band so dirty even Mötley Crüe could catch something from them. That is the description of an act who should be allowed the privilege of supporting the mighty Auzzies!!

As usual I’ve never heard their Album or see them live (but I’ve heard a couple of songs so this is a littttlllleee biased because I can tell you now, The Blizzards have none of the qualities mentioned above).

Opening song, Buy it Sell It is the usual parade of shitty squeaky effects that ever other terrible indie band in the world are using, backed by a tired arrangement of guitars. All buzz from (what little it had anyway) disappears and the band seem to preach about the consumer world. Wow, exciting. Here we fucking go eh!. The song remains quiet, then squeaky, then quiet again. Not really an energetic piece but surely an AC/DC support act has a few surprises up their sleeves. Let’s see what’s next. Trust me I’m a Doctor is second and an obvious nod to the great late Dr. Thompson. Oh god, Hunter deserves better. Annoying vocals, choppy beat that you’ll have heard at least eight hundred and seventy six different times before. The Reason is next and you find yourself asking, for what reason did MCD decide it was a good idea to throw this lot onto a stage with a band like AC/DC and not just push The Answer higher up on the bill. Obviously it’s a plot. MCD want the Blizzards to be bottled of the stage so badly they all quit music, raise families and never ever talk about the terrible album they once made. Ah, the chorus on The Reason isn’t all bad, could be a good summer song but overall it’s a little Scissor Sisters for Tickets There’s taste.

Postcards is next up for a strike. Again they’ve reverted back to their definitive weak indie sounding style. Oh the joy, oh the possible pain and so on. This band are not good, they’re just so boring (like Coldplay) that they’ll appeal to a select bunch of middle Americans and densely retarded Irish people. There’s as much energy and originality in these songs as you’d find on a box of matches. Fantasy is just flat out there boring and sees the band just get silly. They fill the ‘beating’ track with various quirks and unexpected breaks, including some reggae moments the make it sound very interesting but the underlining theme of bullshit is a good giveaway. It’s not a song, it’s just noise, bad noise. There’s alot of good bands from Mullingar and listening to this lot makes you wonder, why them? Why are they getting all the attention when bands like Waiting to Explode and The Aftermath could wipe the floor with them. Ah well. Second last song, Miss Fantasia Preaches (hehe, yes I know), is..hmmm….well, believe it or not, it’s not too good. Not too good at all in fact. Boring off course but this time the band have slowed things down and managed to keep the choppy sounds. Like an even worse version of Franz Ferdinand or something. Camp dance floor fillers with none of the substance. Exactly the kind of music labels love and exactly the kind of music terrible bands make for the sole purpose of making money.

Trouble finishes things off and for the better because it’s basically the same thing as all the others. Ah well. An excuse to visit the bar…several times tomorrow.

Hope ye enjoy them, because Tickets There didn’t.

MYSPACE REVIEW – ADEBISI SHANK

After the dreadful nonsense I inflicted on myself with So Cow, I decided to go back and check out another of Ireland’s supposed underground treasures. Now, I’ve seen mentions of Adebisi Shank around but aside from seeing a few photos, I really haven’t a clue about them. According to their MySpace, the band hails from Wexford, which I think is a first for Tickets There’s MySpace Review but don’t quote me on that.

Let’s go, haven’t seem them live or heard their album/E.P

Snakeships may be second on the list but it seems to want to be first so why not indulge. Fast drum intro, guitars kick in after a few seconds, defiantly nothing to hate yet. Nice electric melody that sets a good tone and they don’t seem to be rushing anything. Things break down in a good hard driven riffy break before the guitars explode back with the drums. Not too bad, certainly an improvement on the last few bands. 1.28 in and no lyrics, Tickets There suspects we have an instrumental act on our hands. Rather than sounding a little tired and boring, it’s pretty damn good. Hard, fast n heavy. Lets see how second track Horse holds up. Crunchy, scattered bass lines and some amazing guitar. Tickets sat well back for this one and rather than trying to go into detail, all I say is there is some incredible musicians in this group, really fucking good to be honest. The absence of lyrics is barley noticed as the band plough through different riffs and solo’s with ease, bringing them all together is a tremendously heavy style. Looks like ASIWYFA have some competition.

Third track (fourth on their list) Jump Cut once again stats with the drums but this time the guitars aren’t as heavy. Not the most inspiring start to a track and certainly not as ‘in your face’ as the other two but not too bad. This one sounds more like an indie number rather than metal. The problem with instrumental indie is all too often, it just sounds like a normal, wordless song rather than something that stands out clearly by itself like the previous two tracks. Ah well, could be a hell of alot worse. lets see what we’re missing from the final and first song, You Me. Well, well, well sounds good, but my net crashes once again and it keeps skipping to Snakeships.

That’s all from me then. Certainly a band worth checking out for all rock fans looking for something a little different.

MYSPACE REVIEW – THE DEAD FLAGS

I’m going to have to be honest with you all, Tickets There is originally from Sligo, Co. Arse Hole of No Where and after reviewing my first ..Sligo.. band, Burning Shades last week, I feel compelled to find an act with a little more talent and a lot less shit from my native home. Hopefully, The Dead Flags will provide me with an opportunity to reflect on Sligo a little more fondly than Burning Shades did.

As usual, I’ve never seen the band line or heard their album/E.P.

Aright, short and sweet for this one. This is my third review today and I’ve other stuff to be getting on with. First song, I Cant be Held Responsible opens with a semi-crunchy bass line before the all too familiar sound of indie guitars..ect comes in. They’ve geared towards a kind of sixties pop sound with a little more noise. The vocals are pretty annoying and sound kind of like a few cats screaming. Not the best, not extremely catchy but a marked improvement from Burning Shades (Jesus I hate that band). The song actually gets a little better three and half minutes in when the vocals start to sound normal and with a bit of rework, you could have a decent track on your hands. Lets move on shall we.

Second song, Gentleman’s Club opens with a very simple guitar riff (would you even call it that?) before the band swank in with a seventies styled rock riff. Not too bad, a little lacking in character but a huge leap forward from the first song. As the song progresses it actually starts to grow on you. Ya there’s nothing new here but what their doing isn’t half bad. It’s good old fashioned poppy rock. Maybe there’s something in these lads. You Will Never Love Again brings us to the half way point. While the song lacks the energy of Gentleman’s Club, it does show the band have a knack for writing semi-catchy tunes. It seems to drag on in places and the music is a tad stale, but I feel so relived there not as bad as Burning Shades (yes, I thought they were that fucking bad) that I’m willing to praise this crowd. I do like the downbeat chorus. Not bad.

O My Love!, O My God!! Starts off like a gospel choice. It’s a poppy little piece about some guy getting some sexy little thing and describing the goings on with such witticisms as ‘doing the no pants dance’..etc. Not great and possible something Tickets There would generally hate. Must have caught me on a good day. Also seems to really drag on even though it’s just three and a half minutes long. Before finishing, the weak, annoying backing vocals manage to kick in one more time. Last song, How Long is a little more melodic than the previous tracks. It’s not too bad, not much you can say. Other people have done it before but others have done it better. Singers voice is defiantly not strong enough to pull of the high notes.

Eh, better than some but fairly boring. One of those reviews you can read the lack of enthusiasm from.